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Uploaded on Feb 11, 2010 /
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Ads from "Better Off Ted"
The environment: everyone likes it, and so... we do too.
That's why we're committed to saving it.
Veridian dynamics is turning every one of our buildings 100% green.
It's ridiculously expensive and spending money makes us sad.
But we're doing it because we love nature, even when it's being mean or just acting stupid.
Greening our world.
We are working hard to make your life better.
But our competitor, Digivation, wants to ruin your life.
Since Digivation was founded 50 years ago, millions have died.
Millions more have become sad.
What's your problem, Digivation?
Veridian Dynamics. Good
Mistakes: we all make them.
But sometimes mistakes lead to great discoveries.
Mistakes are how we learn and grow so we can do amazing things.
When you think about it, shouldn't you thanking us for making mistakes?
We're sorry. You're welcome.
Machines: when you were little, you wanted to be one.
Now we're working to make that happen by taking the best things about people and the best things about machines.
And combing them into something strong and, we hope, loving.
Man and machines. Best friends forever.
Bosses: everybody has one.
Without bosses, we'd be like these worms: disgusting.
Bosses make everything better.
So listen to your boss, and don't question them, otherwise, you're not better than a worm.
Teamwork: it's a beautiful thing.
In business, it means working together for a common goal.
X- rays show that when people work together, they're happier and less likely to do something weird...
It keeps our employees gruntled.
We believe everyone is special, irreplaceable and will follow the thing walking in front of it.
That's why we celebrate all individuals,even ones going nowhere.
Because you can't spell "individual" without "Veridian".
And an "l"...
Competition: whether it's animals or this old woman and baby, fighting to the death, competition makes us stronger.
In business, that means better products. Pills that look like candy, hands that can shoot lightning and a new generation of hurricane-proof dogs.
Competition. It makes everything better.
Diversity: just the thought of it makes these white people smile.
We believe everyone works best when they work together, even if they're just standing around.
Just like we enjoy varieties of foods, we enjoy varieties of people, even though we can't eat them.
At Veridian Dynamics, we're committed to a multiethnic workplace.
You can shake on it...
Diversity. Good for us.
We're a family, just like yours. But we don't waste our time throwing leaves around.
We put our family to work. We mean real work, not just eating mush.
Our Veridian Dynamic family works for every member of your family, even the dead ones. And we're working to bring them back and copy them, in case you lose them again.
We love our family, which is why we work nights, weekends and major holidays, because that's when families should be together.
We're the future of food.
Developing the next generation of food and food-like products.
Tomatoes, the size of this baby.
Lemon-flavored fish, chicken that lay 16 eggs a day, which is a lot for a chicken.
Organic vegetables, chock full of antidepressants.
At Veridian Dynamics, we can even make radishes so spicy that people can't eat them, but we're not, because people can't eat them.
Every day, something we make, makes your life better.
Power: we make that.
Technology: we make that.
Cows: well , no, we don't make cows.
Although we have made a sheep...
And medicines. And airplane engines.
And whatever this is. And all sorts of things.
Veridian Dynamics. Every day, something we make, makes your life better.